CAN ANYONE REPLACE HIM, OR HER? OF COURSE NOT. YET… DO I WANT TO DATE AGAIN? IF SO, WHEN? AND HOW? AND SEX…WILL I EVER HAVE SEX AGAIN? DO I WANT TO? SHOULD I WANT TO? AM I TOO OLD? TERRIFYING QUESTIONS. THIS IS THE FIRST WIDOWHOOD WEDNESDAY POST TO EXPLORE THEM. IF YOU ARE […]
WIDOW, WILL YOU DANCE WITH ME? AN INVITATION
My dear fellow member of the Club No One Wants to Join, I started Widowhood Wednesday just under a year ago. I was almost seventeen years past my first widowhood, almost three past my second. I was accompanying (to the extent it is possible that another person can accompany another in the freshets of recent […]
CHARLOTTE ZOLOTOW’S “SLEEPY BOOK” AWAKENS IN CHINA
A PERSON HAS A LIFE, WITH A DEFINITE AND IRREFUTABLE BEGINNING, MIDDLE, AND END. BUT, WITH A BOOK IT’S NOT SO CLEAR. I spent a recent Sunday, improbably, working on an introduction to the forthcoming Chinese edition of a children’s book entitled Sleepy Book. Written in 1956 or ’57 and published in 1958, its author is […]
DEAR ROSALEE, ABOUT THAT WHOLE FUTURE QUESTION, & USING OR NOT USING, & SOME STUFF MY WRITER-FATHER (WHO USED TO BE A DRUNK) PASSED ON TO ME …
ANGELS UNAWARE, AND THE JAR OF PEANUT BUTTER THAT MAY HAVE SAVED MY LIFE
SOMETIMES THE PEOPLE WHO ARE MOST PRESENT FOR YOU AFTER YOU ARE WIDOWED ARE NOT WHO YOU’D EXPECT. SOMETIMES THEY BEAR UNLIKELY GIFTS. SOMETIMES THEY BRING SOMETHING THEY DIDN’T KNOW THEY WERE BRINGING, WHICH YOU DIDN’T KNOW YOU NEEDED. UNTIL THEY GAVE IT. THEN, YOU KNEW. Note: this post is Part 2, a special edition […]
THE HOLIDAYS, AFTER A SUDDEN DEATH: HOW TO HELP
HE DIED. SUDDENLY. AN ACCIDENT. THREE WEEKS LATER, THE WORST WINTER WEATHER IN THE STATE’S HISTORY BLEW IN. SOMETIMES DISASTERS COLLIDE SOMETIMES FRIENDS HOLD A PLACE FOR US WHEN WE CAN’T DO IT FOR OURSELVES. It is easy, looking back on the aftermath of the catastrophic theft of normalcy that is widowhood, to recall the […]
TRAVELING ON THANKSGIVING: NOTES ON A TRANSITIONAL TIME
WE CAN NO LONGER HAVE WHAT WE HAD. SOMETIMES THE BEST WAY TO REORIENT IS TO QUIT RESISTING DISORIENTATION. MAYBE EVEN EMBRACE IT. FOR NOW. Thanksgiving, it turns out, is a great day on which to travel. The Thanksgiving after I was widowed for the second time, I spent much of Thanksgiving literally in the […]
HOW TO GET GOOD AT ANYTHING. YES, IT’S THAT SIMPLE. THAT HARD.
How do people get good at things? Especially, those people who are astoundingly good at what they do — how on earth do they get that way? No matter who your favorite musicians are (or writers, athletes, actors, artists, cooks), , you can bet they do three things. These are things that anyone, who is good at […]
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