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Crescent Dragonwagon

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GRIEF’S LOVE-LANGUAGE

GRIEF’S LOVE-LANGUAGE

By Crescent Dragonwagon 7 Comments

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That last Thursday in November, I had been at Miller Williams‘ sixth or eighth Survey of Western Poetry class, which I was auditing at the University of Arkansas at Fayetteville.I’d drive over each Thursday — it was about an hour from Eureka Springs — immerse myself in Miller’s world, do any Fayetteville errands that I might have, and drive home…. Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living Tagged With: death, Emily Dickinson, grief, Miller Williams, Ned Shank, poetry, poetry and grief, The Bustle in a House, widow

INSTEAD OF “HEALING”, GRIEVING TRUTHFULLY

INSTEAD OF “HEALING”, GRIEVING TRUTHFULLY

By Crescent Dragonwagon 1 Comment

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How do we travel through widowhood and grief towards whatever the next phase of our life will be if, as we said last week,  “healing” doesn’t work as a model? And let’s look at a couple of other commonly used phrases that also don’t apply;  “getting over it,” and  “closure.” How can you “get over” the death of someone you… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living Tagged With: compassion towards self and others, death, gradual transformation, grief & grieving, Vermont, widowhood, Widowhood Wednesday

WHY YOU CAN’T “HEAL” WIDOWHOOD GRIEF

WHY YOU CAN’T “HEAL” WIDOWHOOD GRIEF

By Crescent Dragonwagon 7 Comments

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Most of us, before widowhood was thrust upon us, gave little thought to what that state would actually be like.  And when and if we did try to conceive of it, most of us got it wrong. ” … In the version of grief we imagine ( before we are widowed),” writes Joan Didion in The Year of Magical Thinking,… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living Tagged With: compassion towards self and others, death, grief & grieving, widowhood, Widowhood Wednesday

WIDOW-WISDOM, & THE SARAN WRAP COVERED HEART

WIDOW-WISDOM, & THE SARAN WRAP COVERED HEART

By Crescent Dragonwagon 6 Comments

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In the little Arkansas town (population, then, just under 2000) in which Ned and I had lived, everybody did not exactly know each other. But we certainly knew about each other. Maybe two years after Ned’s death, still deeply bereft, I ran into Freddy. We were friends, though not close. He was someone I knew and liked, had worked with;… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living

A WIDOW IS A REMINDER: IT COULD HAPPEN TO ME

A WIDOW IS A REMINDER: IT COULD HAPPEN TO ME

By Crescent Dragonwagon 11 Comments

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“What’s on your mind this morning?” Facebook asked me cheerily last week. As it does daily, to any user who opens it before noon. That morning happened to be September 10th, 2017. What was on my mind? Quite a bit. It was the day before the 16th anniversary of the 9-11 attacks. It was the day before Hurricane Irma was… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living, self-understanding, personal growth Tagged With: 9-11, death, Ned Shank, widow, widowhood, Widowhood Wednesday

A “SUICIDE-WIDOW” CONSIDERS THE UNTHINKABLE, ON A STRIPED COUCH

A “SUICIDE-WIDOW” CONSIDERS THE UNTHINKABLE, ON A STRIPED COUCH

By Crescent Dragonwagon 11 Comments

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I have a new cat. New to me, that is; she is actually 14 years old. She belonged to my friend Rupa, who died on the 4th of July this year. Intelligent, affectionate, and calm — as was Rupa herself, a glowing soul —  Nomah quickly made her way into my heart. To the extent that, when I went to… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living Tagged With: cat, guilt, suicide, suicide widow, widow, widowhood, Widowhood Wednesday

WHEN GRIEF WANTS TO BE FELT, IT WILL. BUT IT WON’T ALWAYS WANT TO.

WHEN GRIEF WANTS TO BE FELT, IT WILL. BUT IT WON’T ALWAYS WANT TO.

By Crescent Dragonwagon 3 Comments

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You expect things like anniversaries. Like birthdays. Like Father’s Day (if he was the father of your children). Mother’s Day (if she was the mother of your children). Like “We would have been married 31 years today.” Like, looking at your watch and seeing the exact dark beat of time, when according to the death certificate, he or she crossed… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living Tagged With: grief, how long does it take, solar eclipse 2017, widow, widowhood, Widowhood Wednesday

A MILLION AND ONE: WHY WE TELL OUR STORY OVER & OVER

A MILLION AND ONE: WHY WE TELL OUR STORY OVER & OVER

By Crescent Dragonwagon 3 Comments

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We are so tired of our story, so exhausted by it. We hate going over it and over it, yet we do, obsessively (one reason we feel insane, though we are not; we’ve grieving). We have exhausted all our friends, and we try not to burden them any more; they have been so good to us, they know our story…. Read More

Filed Under: Fearless Living Tagged With: grieving, narrative, storytelling. grief, Symes, widowhood, Widowhood Wednesday

GRIEF WILL NOT BE OUTSMARTED,  CERTAINLY NOT AT THE LAVINIA HOTEL

GRIEF WILL NOT BE OUTSMARTED, CERTAINLY NOT AT THE LAVINIA HOTEL

By Crescent Dragonwagon 4 Comments

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Three months and eighteen days after Ned’s death, I took his ashes, as per his written request, to India. This was still relatively early days, so perhaps I can be forgiven for my persistent illusion: I still thought you could somehow outsmart grief. I did not yet know that when grief wants to be felt, it will find a way to… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living Tagged With: ashes, cremation, grief, grieving, Mount Lavinia, Sri Lanka, widowhood, Widowhood Wednesday

TABLE FOR ONE

TABLE FOR ONE

By Crescent Dragonwagon 16 Comments

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“For months after Ned’s death I barely ate. (How could I taste, let alone digest, when my sweet partner had suddenly, absolutely vanished from the earth, could never close his eyes again in ecstasy at something so simple as a perfect baked red yam or a plate of pancakes?)”  I wrote most of  Passionate Vegetarian when Ned was alive. It… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living Tagged With: eating vegetables, grief, grieving, widowhood, Widowhood Wednesday

GRIEVING, WITH HONOR & TRUTHFULNESS

GRIEVING, WITH HONOR & TRUTHFULNESS

By Crescent Dragonwagon 3 Comments

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Grief, in the early stages; grief, after the first layer of shock has worn off: so excruciatingly painful is it, and so discontinuous with the reality we knew before death took the person we most loved in the world, that we do not want to feel it. And, as we struggle against it— for who would willingly accept such pain?… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living Tagged With: David Richo, grief, resilience, widowhood, Widowhood Wednesday

Grieving Aloud: At the Unlikely Campfire of Facebook, & Under the Stars

Grieving Aloud: At the Unlikely Campfire of Facebook, & Under the Stars

By Crescent Dragonwagon 4 Comments

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About a year ago, a friend who’s a fellow widow wrote on Facebook about the then-current phase of her grieving. She allowed me to quote her here, without identification. Her words: “… it happens, even two years down the road, this stage: the ‘stay at home, don’t want to see anyone, or do anything’ stage. “As any of you who know… Read More

Filed Under: Fearless Living Tagged With: bereavement, Charlotte Zolotow, death, grief & grieving, widowhood, Widowhood Wednesday

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I'm a freelance writer (much published), a cornbread-loving, genre-bending sixty something year-old. Writing is work, play, the way I make much of my living. It's occasionally highly anxious-making, always surprising. I teach, and am constantly taught by, writing. Read More…

Rouses Markets Features Crescent’s Ultimate Veggie Burger

Rouses Markets Features Crescent’s Ultimate Veggie Burger

#DeepFeast Recipes

I FEED THIS GUINNESS STOUT CHOCOLATE LAYER CAKE TO MY FATHER ONLY IN MY DREAMS
THE *** BEST *** BLACK-EYED PEAS FOR NEW YEAR’S DAY
PUCKER UP, BUTTERNUT: SOULFUL WINTER SQUASH SOUP WITH GINGER-APPLE SALSA
STILL BEANING AFTER ALL THESE YEARS
A TIMELESS BLUEBERRY COFFEE CAKE, RIGHT NOW. AND, INTRODUCING MONK-FRUIT, BEST-EVER ALTERNATIVE TO SUGAR.
J’ADORE BANADORA: TOMATO MEDITATION, SECOND YEAR IN A ROW
COOL HAND CUKE: THAT CUCUMBER-YOGURT SOUP, THE ONE WITH MINT, AND GRAPES, AGAIN…
YET ANOTHER  SECRET REVEALED IN MY FAMOUS “RAISIN-PUMPERNICKEL BREAD WITH A SECRET”

More Posts from this Category

Dinner with Dragonwagon

THE *** BEST *** BLACK-EYED PEAS FOR NEW YEAR’S DAY
PUCKER UP, BUTTERNUT: SOULFUL WINTER SQUASH SOUP WITH GINGER-APPLE SALSA
STILL BEANING AFTER ALL THESE YEARS
COOL HAND CUKE: THAT CUCUMBER-YOGURT SOUP, THE ONE WITH MINT, AND GRAPES, AGAIN…

More Posts from this Category

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"(With) weary animals, Dragonwagon offers an “alphabet of ways to sleep,” smoothly working in some alliteration..."
- Publishers Weekly (starred review)


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