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Crescent Dragonwagon

COMFORT, REFUGE, & TRUTH-TELLING: THE WHAT & WHY OF WIDOWHOOD WEDNESDAY


“This weekly post on widowhood begins an overdue conversation. Half of all people in committed relationships will lose their spouse first; will be left to live solo. Almost everyone will be called on to console someone bereaved.

"This is my attempt to speak the unspeakable, for all of us… to enable others to speak and listen.

“I’ve been widowed twice. I am who I am in part because of loving, knowing, losing and grieving these two very different partners, each of whom left life under very different circumstances.

"What understanding I have of grief (which I perceive as less an emotion than a tsunami-like force of nature) is provisional. And yet – I say this reluctantly – the experiences of widowhood and grieving are not without hope. Over time, even egregious, cruel losses and disorientations can reveal strange gifts.

“Writing of her own widowhood, Joan Didion said, ‘Grief turns out to be a place none of us know until we reach it.’ It's a journey for which few are ready. We each make our unique path as we walk it, in isolation.

"This isolation is profound. But side-by-side with its truth is this: it is also true that others in ‘the club no one wants to join’ are walking their solitary paths.

"Which means that no matter how it feels, we are not alone. Let us take, and give, comfort in telling our stories, and hearing those of others. If we must bear this, let us also bear witness."

--- Crescent Dragonwagon

THE VALENTINES HE DIDN’T KNOW HE SENT

THE VALENTINES HE DIDN’T KNOW HE SENT

By Crescent Dragonwagon 4 Comments

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NOT “FROM THE OTHER WORLD.” NOT “SHE’S SENDING YOU A MESSAGE.” STILL, SOMETIMES SOMETHING YOU DIDN’T FULLY REALIZE YOU HAD BEEN GIVEN MAKES ITSELF KNOWN. Someone must have told me, back in the miasma of grief and unreality that followed Ned’s unexpected death, to call Arkansas Social Security. Told me to ask about “widow’s benefits.” And I did. But I… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living, self-understanding, personal growth, widowhood Tagged With: death benefits, Social Security, widow's benefits

SEX AS A DEATH-DEFYING ACT: SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO JUST DIVE IN. SOMETIMES YOU WANT TO. SOMETIMES YOU DON’T.

SEX AS A DEATH-DEFYING ACT: SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO JUST DIVE IN. SOMETIMES YOU WANT TO. SOMETIMES YOU DON’T.

By Crescent Dragonwagon Leave a Comment

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CAN ANYONE REPLACE HIM, OR HER? OF COURSE NOT. YET… DO I WANT TO DATE AGAIN? IF SO, WHEN? AND HOW? AND SEX…WILL I EVER HAVE SEX AGAIN? DO I WANT TO? SHOULD I WANT TO? AM I TOO OLD? TERRIFYING QUESTIONS. THIS IS THE FIRST WIDOWHOOD WEDNESDAY POST TO EXPLORE THEM. IF YOU ARE YOUNG IN WIDOWHOOD, IT MAY… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living, widowhood Tagged With: late life sexuality, sex, sex after widowhood

WIDOW, WILL YOU DANCE WITH ME? AN INVITATION

WIDOW, WILL YOU DANCE WITH ME? AN INVITATION

By Crescent Dragonwagon 1 Comment

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My dear fellow member of the Club No One Wants to Join, I started Widowhood Wednesday just under a year ago. I was almost seventeen years past my first widowhood, almost three past my second. I was accompanying (to the extent it is possible that another person can accompany another in the freshets of recent grief), my recently widowed friend… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Conversations with Crescent Classes, Crescent Dragonwagon, Events, Fearless Living, self-understanding, personal growth, widowhood Tagged With: community, grief, grieving, the Club No One Wants to Join

ANGELS UNAWARE, AND THE JAR OF PEANUT BUTTER THAT MAY HAVE SAVED MY LIFE

ANGELS UNAWARE, AND THE JAR OF PEANUT BUTTER THAT MAY HAVE SAVED MY LIFE

By Crescent Dragonwagon 12 Comments

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SOMETIMES THE PEOPLE WHO ARE MOST PRESENT FOR YOU AFTER YOU ARE WIDOWED ARE NOT WHO YOU’D EXPECT. SOMETIMES THEY BEAR UNLIKELY GIFTS. SOMETIMES THEY BRING SOMETHING THEY DIDN’T KNOW THEY WERE BRINGING, WHICH YOU DIDN’T KNOW YOU NEEDED. UNTIL THEY GAVE IT. THEN, YOU KNEW. Note: this post is Part 2, a special edition being sent not on Wednesday… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living

THE HOLIDAYS, AFTER A SUDDEN DEATH: HOW TO HELP

THE HOLIDAYS, AFTER A SUDDEN DEATH: HOW TO HELP

By Crescent Dragonwagon 10 Comments

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HE DIED. SUDDENLY. AN ACCIDENT. THREE WEEKS LATER, THE WORST WINTER WEATHER IN THE STATE’S HISTORY BLEW IN. SOMETIMES DISASTERS COLLIDE SOMETIMES FRIENDS HOLD A PLACE FOR US WHEN WE CAN’T DO IT FOR OURSELVES. It is easy, looking back on the aftermath of the catastrophic theft of normalcy that is widowhood, to recall the hurtful, bone-headed remarks and deeds… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living Tagged With: accidental death, friends, grief, Mr. Rogers, sudden death, widow, widowhood

TRAVELING ON THANKSGIVING: NOTES ON A TRANSITIONAL TIME

TRAVELING ON THANKSGIVING: NOTES ON A TRANSITIONAL TIME

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WE CAN NO LONGER HAVE WHAT WE HAD. SOMETIMES THE BEST WAY TO REORIENT IS TO QUIT RESISTING DISORIENTATION. MAYBE EVEN EMBRACE IT. FOR NOW. Thanksgiving, it turns out, is a great day on which to travel. The Thanksgiving after I was widowed for the second time, I spent much of Thanksgiving literally in the air. And that — strangely,… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living Tagged With: holiday depression, holiday grieving, new normal, widow, widowhood, Widowhood Wednesday

DOES IT GET EASIER? YES. DO YOU GET OVER IT? NO.

DOES IT GET EASIER? YES. DO YOU GET OVER IT? NO.

By Crescent Dragonwagon 9 Comments

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I would like to tell you, dear fellow members of the Club No One Wants to Join, especially those younger to widowhood than I am, that it gets easier over time. And I can. For it does. It gets easier over time. I would also, so very much, like not to tell you that you never get over it. But… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living Tagged With: Crescent dragonwagon, gradual transformation, grief, grief & grieving, love, Ned Shank, widowhood, Widowhood Wednesday

GRIEF’S LOVE-LANGUAGE

GRIEF’S LOVE-LANGUAGE

By Crescent Dragonwagon 7 Comments

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That last Thursday in November, I had been at Miller Williams‘ sixth or eighth Survey of Western Poetry class, which I was auditing at the University of Arkansas at Fayetteville.I’d drive over each Thursday — it was about an hour from Eureka Springs — immerse myself in Miller’s world, do any Fayetteville errands that I might have, and drive home…. Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living Tagged With: death, Emily Dickinson, grief, Miller Williams, Ned Shank, poetry, poetry and grief, The Bustle in a House, widow

INSTEAD OF “HEALING”, GRIEVING TRUTHFULLY

INSTEAD OF “HEALING”, GRIEVING TRUTHFULLY

By Crescent Dragonwagon 1 Comment

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How do we travel through widowhood and grief towards whatever the next phase of our life will be if, as we said last week,  “healing” doesn’t work as a model? And let’s look at a couple of other commonly used phrases that also don’t apply;  “getting over it,” and  “closure.” How can you “get over” the death of someone you… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living Tagged With: compassion towards self and others, death, gradual transformation, grief & grieving, Vermont, widowhood, Widowhood Wednesday

WIDOW-WISDOM, & THE SARAN WRAP COVERED HEART

WIDOW-WISDOM, & THE SARAN WRAP COVERED HEART

By Crescent Dragonwagon 6 Comments

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In the little Arkansas town (population, then, just under 2000) in which Ned and I had lived, everybody did not exactly know each other. But we certainly knew about each other. Maybe two years after Ned’s death, still deeply bereft, I ran into Freddy. We were friends, though not close. He was someone I knew and liked, had worked with;… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living

A WIDOW IS A REMINDER: IT COULD HAPPEN TO ME

A WIDOW IS A REMINDER: IT COULD HAPPEN TO ME

By Crescent Dragonwagon 11 Comments

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“What’s on your mind this morning?” Facebook asked me cheerily last week. As it does daily, to any user who opens it before noon. That morning happened to be September 10th, 2017. What was on my mind? Quite a bit. It was the day before the 16th anniversary of the 9-11 attacks. It was the day before Hurricane Irma was… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living, self-understanding, personal growth Tagged With: 9-11, death, Ned Shank, widow, widowhood, Widowhood Wednesday

A “SUICIDE-WIDOW” CONSIDERS THE UNTHINKABLE, ON A STRIPED COUCH

A “SUICIDE-WIDOW” CONSIDERS THE UNTHINKABLE, ON A STRIPED COUCH

By Crescent Dragonwagon 11 Comments

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I have a new cat. New to me, that is; she is actually 14 years old. She belonged to my friend Rupa, who died on the 4th of July this year. Intelligent, affectionate, and calm — as was Rupa herself, a glowing soul —  Nomah quickly made her way into my heart. To the extent that, when I went to… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living Tagged With: cat, guilt, suicide, suicide widow, widow, widowhood, Widowhood Wednesday

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Read Aloud with Crescent and Mark

NOT A LITTLE MONKEY, by Charlotte Zolotow, illustrted by Michelle Chessaree

"So, the little girl climbed into the big waste-basket and waited." ' Oh no,' said her mother, ' we don't want to throw you away.'"There are many ways to express love and the need for attention. Here, a busy mother and her just-a-bit naughty little girl tease each other affectionately — the little girl making her point without even uttering a word.That's today's story time — read aloud by the author's daughter at Crescent Dragonwagon's Writing, Cooking, & Workshops, with Mark Graff's "text support" and discussion."Just right for two-to-fours, the humor of this true-to-life story of a mischievous little girl who blocks her mother's attempts to clean house will elicit giggles from the lollipop set." Kirkus Reviews

Posted by Crescent Dragonwagon's Writing, Cooking, & Workshops on Thursday, June 4, 2020

Read Aloud with Crescent

Read Aloud with Crescent

The Washington Post on Crescent’s Lentil Soup Recipe

The Washington Post on Crescent’s Lentil Soup Recipe

Greek Lentil Soup with Spinach and Lemon, photograph by Tom McCorkle, Washington Post

March Offering

March Offering

Bean By Bean Cookbooks

#DeepFeast Recipes

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Dinner with Dragonwagon

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A NAPPA Gold Winner
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"... like a warm luminescent blanket at bedtime... softly lulling." -- New York Times


"(With) weary animals, Dragonwagon offers an “alphabet of ways to sleep,” smoothly working in some alliteration..."
- Publishers Weekly (starred review)


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Until Just Moistened

Until Just Moistened

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