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Crescent Dragonwagon

FIFTY SHADES OF GRIEF, IN OCTOBER

FIFTY SHADES OF GRIEF, IN OCTOBER

By Crescent Dragonwagon 16 Comments

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HALLOWEEN. IF YOU’VE LOST SOMEONE TO SUICIDE OR VIOLENCE, THIS TIME OF YEAR YOU CAN EXPECT TRIGGERS EVERYWHERE. WIDOWHOOD IS NOT STATIC. IT KEEPS CHANGING, AND IT KEEPS CHANGING US. LIKE THE LEAVES IN FALL (A TIME WHEN GRIEF, ITSELF ZOMBIE-LIKE, RE-EMERGES FOR MANY), WIDOWHOOD HAS AN INFINITE NUMBER OF COLORS. HERE ARE FIFTY OF THEM. 1. I take a… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Crescent Dragonwagon, Fearless Living Tagged With: Adam Gopnik, aging parents, cremation, dia de las muertas, does everything happen for a reason, fifty shades, Halloween, halloween suicides, hanging, mortality, suicide, suicide survivors, suicide widow, triggers, widowhood, Widowhood Wednesday

WHY YOU CAN’T “HEAL” WIDOWHOOD GRIEF

WHY YOU CAN’T “HEAL” WIDOWHOOD GRIEF

By Crescent Dragonwagon 35 Comments

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Most of us, before widowhood was thrust upon us, gave little thought to what that state would actually be like.  And when and if we did try to conceive of it, most of us got it wrong. ” … In the version of grief we imagine (before we are widowed),” writes Joan Didion in The Year of Magical Thinking, ”… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living Tagged With: compassion towards self and others, death, grief & grieving, widowhood, Widowhood Wednesday

TRAVELING ON THANKSGIVING: NOTES ON A TRANSITIONAL TIME

TRAVELING ON THANKSGIVING: NOTES ON A TRANSITIONAL TIME

By Crescent Dragonwagon Leave a Comment

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WE CAN NO LONGER HAVE WHAT WE HAD. SOMETIMES THE BEST WAY TO REORIENT IS TO QUIT RESISTING DISORIENTATION. MAYBE EVEN EMBRACE IT. FOR NOW. Thanksgiving, it turns out, is a great day on which to travel. The Thanksgiving after I was widowed for the second time, I spent much of Thanksgiving literally in the air. And that — strangely,… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living Tagged With: holiday depression, holiday grieving, new normal, widow, widowhood, Widowhood Wednesday

DOES IT GET EASIER? YES. DO YOU GET OVER IT? NO.

DOES IT GET EASIER? YES. DO YOU GET OVER IT? NO.

By Crescent Dragonwagon 9 Comments

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I would like to tell you, dear fellow members of the Club No One Wants to Join, especially those younger to widowhood than I am, that it gets easier over time. And I can. For it does. It gets easier over time. I would also, so very much, like not to tell you that you never get over it. But… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living Tagged With: Crescent dragonwagon, gradual transformation, grief, grief & grieving, love, Ned Shank, widowhood, Widowhood Wednesday

INSTEAD OF “HEALING”, GRIEVING TRUTHFULLY

INSTEAD OF “HEALING”, GRIEVING TRUTHFULLY

By Crescent Dragonwagon 1 Comment

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How do we travel through widowhood and grief towards whatever the next phase of our life will be if, as we said last week,  “healing” doesn’t work as a model? And let’s look at a couple of other commonly used phrases that also don’t apply;  “getting over it,” and  “closure.” How can you “get over” the death of someone you… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living Tagged With: compassion towards self and others, death, gradual transformation, grief & grieving, Vermont, widowhood, Widowhood Wednesday

A WIDOW IS A REMINDER: IT COULD HAPPEN TO ME

A WIDOW IS A REMINDER: IT COULD HAPPEN TO ME

By Crescent Dragonwagon 11 Comments

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“What’s on your mind this morning?” Facebook asked me cheerily last week. As it does daily, to any user who opens it before noon. That morning happened to be September 10th, 2017. What was on my mind? Quite a bit. It was the day before the 16th anniversary of the 9-11 attacks. It was the day before Hurricane Irma was… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living, self-understanding, personal growth Tagged With: 9-11, death, Ned Shank, widow, widowhood, Widowhood Wednesday

A “SUICIDE-WIDOW” CONSIDERS THE UNTHINKABLE, ON A STRIPED COUCH

A “SUICIDE-WIDOW” CONSIDERS THE UNTHINKABLE, ON A STRIPED COUCH

By Crescent Dragonwagon 11 Comments

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I have a new cat. New to me, that is; she is actually 14 years old. She belonged to my friend Rupa, who died on the 4th of July this year. Intelligent, affectionate, and calm — as was Rupa herself, a glowing soul —  Nomah quickly made her way into my heart. To the extent that, when I went to… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living Tagged With: cat, guilt, suicide, suicide widow, widow, widowhood, Widowhood Wednesday

WHEN GRIEF WANTS TO BE FELT, IT WILL. BUT IT WON’T ALWAYS WANT TO.

WHEN GRIEF WANTS TO BE FELT, IT WILL. BUT IT WON’T ALWAYS WANT TO.

By Crescent Dragonwagon 3 Comments

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You expect things like anniversaries. Like birthdays. Like Father’s Day (if he was the father of your children). Mother’s Day (if she was the mother of your children). Like “We would have been married 31 years today.” Like, looking at your watch and seeing the exact dark beat of time, when according to the death certificate, he or she crossed… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living Tagged With: grief, how long does it take, solar eclipse 2017, widow, widowhood, Widowhood Wednesday

A MILLION AND ONE: WHY WE TELL OUR STORY OVER & OVER

A MILLION AND ONE: WHY WE TELL OUR STORY OVER & OVER

By Crescent Dragonwagon 3 Comments

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We are so tired of our story, so exhausted by it. We hate going over it and over it, yet we do, obsessively (one reason we feel insane, though we are not; we’ve grieving). We have exhausted all our friends, and we try not to burden them any more; they have been so good to us, they know our story…. Read More

Filed Under: Fearless Living Tagged With: grieving, narrative, storytelling. grief, Symes, widowhood, Widowhood Wednesday

GRIEF WILL NOT BE OUTSMARTED,  CERTAINLY NOT AT THE LAVINIA HOTEL

GRIEF WILL NOT BE OUTSMARTED, CERTAINLY NOT AT THE LAVINIA HOTEL

By Crescent Dragonwagon 7 Comments

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Three months and eighteen days after Ned’s death, I took his ashes, as per his written request, to India. This was still relatively early days, so perhaps I can be forgiven for my persistent illusion: I still thought you could somehow outsmart grief. I did not yet know that when grief wants to be felt, it will find a way to… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living Tagged With: ashes, cremation, grief, grieving, Mount Lavinia, Sri Lanka, widowhood, Widowhood Wednesday

TABLE FOR ONE

TABLE FOR ONE

By Crescent Dragonwagon 16 Comments

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“For months after Ned’s death I barely ate. (How could I taste, let alone digest, when my sweet partner had suddenly, absolutely vanished from the earth, could never close his eyes again in ecstasy at something so simple as a perfect baked red yam or a plate of pancakes?)”  I wrote most of  Passionate Vegetarian when Ned was alive. It… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living Tagged With: eating vegetables, grief, grieving, widowhood, Widowhood Wednesday

GRIEVING, WITH HONOR & TRUTHFULNESS

GRIEVING, WITH HONOR & TRUTHFULNESS

By Crescent Dragonwagon 3 Comments

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Grief, in the early stages; grief, after the first layer of shock has worn off: so excruciatingly painful is it, and so discontinuous with the reality we knew before death took the person we most loved in the world, that we do not want to feel it. And, as we struggle against it— for who would willingly accept such pain?… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living Tagged With: David Richo, grief, resilience, widowhood, Widowhood Wednesday

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Read Aloud with Crescent and Mark

NOT A LITTLE MONKEY, by Charlotte Zolotow, illustrted by Michelle Chessaree

"So, the little girl climbed into the big waste-basket and waited." ' Oh no,' said her mother, ' we don't want to throw you away.'"There are many ways to express love and the need for attention. Here, a busy mother and her just-a-bit naughty little girl tease each other affectionately — the little girl making her point without even uttering a word.That's today's story time — read aloud by the author's daughter at Crescent Dragonwagon's Writing, Cooking, & Workshops, with Mark Graff's "text support" and discussion."Just right for two-to-fours, the humor of this true-to-life story of a mischievous little girl who blocks her mother's attempts to clean house will elicit giggles from the lollipop set." Kirkus Reviews

Posted by Crescent Dragonwagon's Writing, Cooking, & Workshops on Thursday, June 4, 2020

Read Aloud with Crescent

Read Aloud with Crescent

The Washington Post on Crescent’s Lentil Soup Recipe

The Washington Post on Crescent’s Lentil Soup Recipe

Greek Lentil Soup with Spinach and Lemon, photograph by Tom McCorkle, Washington Post

March Offering

March Offering

Bean By Bean Cookbooks

#DeepFeast Recipes

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Dinner with Dragonwagon

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"... like a warm luminescent blanket at bedtime... softly lulling." -- New York Times


"(With) weary animals, Dragonwagon offers an “alphabet of ways to sleep,” smoothly working in some alliteration..."
- Publishers Weekly (starred review)


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Until Just Moistened

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