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Crescent Dragonwagon

NOT EVEN SPRING CAN HURRY GRIEF ALONG

NOT EVEN SPRING CAN HURRY GRIEF ALONG

By Crescent Dragonwagon 4 Comments

WHAT DO WE DO WHEN, IN THIS SEASON OF RENEWAL, LIFE STILL FEELS LIKE A LIFE-SENTENCE? HOW DO WE GRIEVE AT A TIME WHEN EVERYTHING (EXCEPT THE PERSON WE LOVED) SEEMS TO BE COMING BACK TO LIFE? Easter. Passover. Spring. The days lengthen, grow warm. Everything seems to come back to life. Everything, that is, except the one we loved. The… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living, grief, widowhood Tagged With: grief and holidays, grief and renewal, grieiving in the spring, spring

8 ACTUALLY HELPFUL WAYS TO BE WITH SOMEONE WHO’S GRIEVING (WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW HOW)

8 ACTUALLY HELPFUL WAYS TO BE WITH SOMEONE WHO’S GRIEVING (WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW HOW)

By Crescent Dragonwagon

HERE ARE SOME THINGS YOUR WIDOWED FRIEND WOULD LIKE YOU TO KNOW. SHE’D TELL YOU IF SHE COULD. BUT SHE CAN’T. THAT’S PART OF THE PROBLEM.  1. Please understand that right now your widowed friend is not herself.  Literally not herself. Most of the constructs of self she had have vanished, some temporarily, some permanently. Everything — her role in life,… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living, grief, widowhood

TIDINGS OF DISCOMFORT

TIDINGS OF DISCOMFORT

By Crescent Dragonwagon

Our beloved partner is no longer on earth. And now it’s the holidays. Sometimes other people, not realizing they’re doing it, ask us to dress grief up in party clothes. We may even ask it of ourselves. But we don’t have to do it. In the fall of 2004,  Richard, my friend Kay’s husband and the love of her life,… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living, widowhood Tagged With: grief, grieving, holiday depression, holiday grieving, holiday pressure, holidays, widow, widowhood

GROWING COMPASSION: SUICIDE, “SUICIDE WIDOWS”  & THE ANTHONY BOURDAIN AFFECT

GROWING COMPASSION: SUICIDE, “SUICIDE WIDOWS” & THE ANTHONY BOURDAIN AFFECT

By Crescent Dragonwagon

IF YOU’VE LOST A PARTNER TO SUICIDE, EXPECT TO REVISIT THAT PECULIARLY GUILT-TAINTED SORROW EVERY TIME A CELEBRITY EXITS LIFE BY HIS OR HER OWN HAND, OR ON THAT DEATH’S ANNIVERSARY. MAYBE IT’S TIME TO GROW SOME COMPASSION, ALL AROUND. Anthony Bourdain’s suicide four years ago hit me hard. Perhaps this was partly because Bourdain and I work / worked… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living, grief, self-understanding, personal growth, widowhood, writing Tagged With: Anthony Bourdain, cornbread, David R. Koff, grief, suicide, suicide widows, Until Just Moistened

PLEASE SAY MY BELOVED’S NAME: HOW AND WHY TO TALK ABOUT THE DECEASED

PLEASE SAY MY BELOVED’S NAME: HOW AND WHY TO TALK ABOUT THE DECEASED

By Crescent Dragonwagon

DON’T BE AFRAID TO SAY ALOUD THE NAME OF THE DECEASED. DON’T BE AFRAID TO REMEMBER HIM OR HER. ALOUD. WITH US. KNOWING YOU LOVED OUR BELOVED TOO HELPS US. IT EVEN, SOMETIMES, BRINGS HER OR HIM BACK TO LIFE,  JUST A LITTLE. THERE CAN BE NO BIGGER GIFT. I’m often in touch with a friend, the musician Bill Haymes, … Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living, grief, widowhood Tagged With: #grief #bereavement

THE GRIEVING VOTE: WIDOWHOOD, COMPASSION & THE 2020 ELECTION

THE GRIEVING VOTE: WIDOWHOOD, COMPASSION & THE 2020 ELECTION

By Crescent Dragonwagon

“Her first husband died in a workplace accident when she was 24 and pregnant with their second child.  ‘Becoming a young widow changed my life,’ she said.” Suddenly, reading these words recently in the New York Times, sitting there at the old oak table in the kitchen, having breakfast, the hair on the back of my neck rose. There are… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living, grief, widowhood Tagged With: compassion, death, election, empathy, grief, Joe Biden, Neilia, widowhood

THE ANNIVERSARY OF HIS SUICIDE, AGAIN

THE ANNIVERSARY OF HIS SUICIDE, AGAIN

By Crescent Dragonwagon

IS THERE A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GRIEF AND SORROW?  BETWEEN MOURNING A DEATH BY SUICIDE VERSUS ONE BY ACCIDENT OR NATURAL CAUSES? IF SO, DOES IT MAKE A DIFFERENCE? OF COURSE IT DOES. SHAME AND GUILT ARE PART OF THE WEIGHT EVERY “SUICIDE WIDOW” CARRIES. HOW DO WE HOW INCORPORATE THEM INTO WHAT WE HOLD ON TO, AND WHAT WE LET… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, grief, self-understanding, personal growth, widowhood Tagged With: memory, mourning, moving on, sadness, selective memory, suicide, suicide widows

THREE MEN I LOVED, STILL LOVE.  TWO OF THEM DEAD, ONE VERY MUCH ALIVE.  THREE POEMS.

THREE MEN I LOVED, STILL LOVE. TWO OF THEM DEAD, ONE VERY MUCH ALIVE. THREE POEMS.

By Crescent Dragonwagon

IS WRITING A WAY TO KEEP YOUR HEART AND LIFE WIDE OPEN, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO, BECAUSE YOU’RE DEEP IN THE MONOTONOUS PAIN OF GRIEVING? SHOULD YOU? HOW CAN YOU, WHEN THERE IS SO MUCH HURT,  AND SOMETIMES, SO MUCH UGLINESS? YET, ALTHOUGH WHEN DEEP IN GRIEF WE DO NOT EXPERIENCE OR BELIEVE IT, THE OPPOSITE IS ALSO TRUE…. Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living, grief, self-understanding, personal growth, widowhood, writing, Writing Courses

The Secret Heartbreak of Widowhood

The Secret Heartbreak of Widowhood

By Crescent Dragonwagon

This week I am sharing with you our Widowhood Wednesday message via video for reasons I will explain at the end of the message. Our monthly call will be at 8 pm eastern on Wednesday, May 30th. The call is a pay what you will if you can, or simply join us. Registration is required, so that the teleconference call… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, grief, widowhood Tagged With: Crescent dragonwagon, the living room, widowhood, Widowhood Wednesday Calls

DEAR FRIEND OF THE WIDOW:  FOOLPROOF CONSOLATION, EIGHT WAYS TO HELP THE GRIEVING

DEAR FRIEND OF THE WIDOW: FOOLPROOF CONSOLATION, EIGHT WAYS TO HELP THE GRIEVING

By Crescent Dragonwagon

OUR FRIENDS WANT TO HELP US. THEY DON’T KNOW HOW. WE DON’T KNOW HOW EITHER. BECAUSE WE ARE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF IT. DEAR WIDOW, I WROTE THIS LETTER FOR YOU TO GIVE YOUR FRIENDS. A LETTER TO THE WIDOW’S FRIENDS Dear Friend of the Widow, You already know this: ___________, the beloved life partner of your friend __________,… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living, grief, self-understanding, personal growth, widowhood Tagged With: condolence, friendship, grief, how to help a widow, sympathy

THE VALENTINES HE DIDN’T KNOW HE SENT

THE VALENTINES HE DIDN’T KNOW HE SENT

By Crescent Dragonwagon

NOT “FROM THE OTHER WORLD.” NOT “SHE’S SENDING YOU A MESSAGE.” STILL, SOMETIMES SOMETHING YOU DIDN’T FULLY REALIZE YOU HAD BEEN GIVEN MAKES ITSELF KNOWN. Someone must have told me, back in the miasma of grief and unreality that followed Ned’s unexpected death, to call Arkansas Social Security. Told me to ask about “widow’s benefits.” And I did. But I… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living, self-understanding, personal growth, widowhood Tagged With: death benefits, Social Security, widow's benefits

SEX AS A DEATH-DEFYING ACT: SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO JUST DIVE IN. SOMETIMES YOU WANT TO. SOMETIMES YOU DON’T.

SEX AS A DEATH-DEFYING ACT: SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO JUST DIVE IN. SOMETIMES YOU WANT TO. SOMETIMES YOU DON’T.

By Crescent Dragonwagon

CAN ANYONE REPLACE HIM, OR HER? OF COURSE NOT. YET… DO I WANT TO DATE AGAIN? IF SO, WHEN? AND HOW? AND SEX…WILL I EVER HAVE SEX AGAIN? DO I WANT TO? SHOULD I WANT TO? AM I TOO OLD? TERRIFYING QUESTIONS. THIS IS THE FIRST WIDOWHOOD WEDNESDAY POST TO EXPLORE THEM. IF YOU ARE YOUNG IN WIDOWHOOD, IT MAY… Read More

Filed Under: #WidowhoodWednesday, Fearless Living, widowhood Tagged With: late life sexuality, sex, sex after widowhood

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Read Aloud with Crescent and Mark

NOT A LITTLE MONKEY, by Charlotte Zolotow, illustrted by Michelle Chessaree

"So, the little girl climbed into the big waste-basket and waited." ' Oh no,' said her mother, ' we don't want to throw you away.'"There are many ways to express love and the need for attention. Here, a busy mother and her just-a-bit naughty little girl tease each other affectionately — the little girl making her point without even uttering a word.That's today's story time — read aloud by the author's daughter at Crescent Dragonwagon's Writing, Cooking, & Workshops, with Mark Graff's "text support" and discussion."Just right for two-to-fours, the humor of this true-to-life story of a mischievous little girl who blocks her mother's attempts to clean house will elicit giggles from the lollipop set." Kirkus Reviews

Posted by Crescent Dragonwagon's Writing, Cooking, & Workshops on Thursday, June 4, 2020

Read Aloud with Crescent

Read Aloud with Crescent

The Washington Post on Crescent’s Lentil Soup Recipe

The Washington Post on Crescent’s Lentil Soup Recipe

Greek Lentil Soup with Spinach and Lemon, photograph by Tom McCorkle, Washington Post

Bean By Bean Cookbooks

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"... like a warm luminescent blanket at bedtime... softly lulling." -- New York Times


"(With) weary animals, Dragonwagon offers an “alphabet of ways to sleep,” smoothly working in some alliteration..."
- Publishers Weekly (starred review)


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Until Just Moistened

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