• Home
  • about
    • blog
      • Nothing Is Wasted on the Writer
      • #DinnerwithDragonwagon
      • Deep Feast
      • #WidowhoodWednesday
    • media: interviews / profiles / articles
    • radio / video
    • cookbooks
    • publications list
  • books
    • children’s books
    • novels / fiction
    • poetry
    • reviews of CD’s books
  • Mentoring
    • testimonials
  • contact
  • “Is that your real name?”
    • Subscribe
  • FEARLESS WRITING™ 2023

Crescent Dragonwagon

A FOXGLOVE FLOWER FALLING REMINDS ME OF CHARLOTTE, AND WHY

By Crescent Dragonwagon

It’s the softest sound in the world, and one only occasionally hears it: a flower falling.

This morning, sitting in the right place, I heard it. A single foxglove blossom dropped from the arrangement I had placed on a table yesterday.

if you listen foxglove fallen

 

It’s such a small sound, but it stayed with me all day. Until I finally asked myself, ” Why?”

I kept thinking it had something to do with my mother, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

Had she and I been sitting together quietly once, and heard a flower fall, and talked about the sound?

It was certainly possible, as we both loved flowers, and had made many bouquets throughout our days, days shared and days rp_cz-laughing-happy-241x160.jpgseparate.

It was certainly possible that there could have been one of those dreamlike half-remembered half-forgotten moments.

My mother, Charlotte Zolotow, a children’s book writer and editor, died in November of 2013. I am her literary executor, and work with her writing: reprints, reissues, foreign rights.

All day it niggled at me. Then, suddenly I remembered: there was a reference to the sound of a falling flower one of her books.

But which one, which?

With almost a hundred published titles, perhaps I can be forgiven for not knowing immediately.

I stood in front of the bookcase which holds the copies of all those books and looked over them. None rang a bell visually, If you listen coverbut suddenly I could hear the text and I knew: It was her IF YOU LISTEN. Of course! The logical place for a reference to a sound few would have listened to, or heard.

The book was first published by Harper & Row in 1980, with gentle illustrations by Marc Simont.

Then, in 2002, Running Press reissued it, with more vibrant modern pictures, by Stefano Vitale.

Charlotte’s text is breathtakingly lovely in both: sensual, tender, not afraid to express sadness and hope. But its hope is eyes-open: not sugar-coated, not facile. Its hope the reader, like the little girl in the book, has to reach for.

In IF YOU LISTEN,  a mother comforts a daughter, who’s missing her far-away father. The mother explains “You have to stop when you’re lonely and listen…the way you do when…”

She then gives If You Listen Cover 2examples of certain kinds of listening, each of which require imaginative attention.

Flipping through, I found the page, immediately:

Or you’re sitting alone in the living room
not thinking of anything at all
and one petal falls off a rose
in the vase on the coffee table

But then, I found something else.

The copy I’d picked up happened to be one she’d given me, inscribed.

And there it was, in that familiar, upright hard-to-read script:

Listen deeply –
Love
Charlotte 

These words are a benediction now in a way they were not when I first received them. Because I was too young, and she was too full of need and (I felt) melodrama. Things between us were fraught, always, although we loved each other. A difficult state of affairs that ended only in the last five years of her life.
if you listen vitale interior
But thankfully — and I am thankful for the astonishment of those last years on a daily basis — that state of uneasiness did end. It was more than  “resolve” or “find closure” or “come to peace”, what the two of us finally managed to do.

Miraculously, we kind of fell in love with each other. Finally. Almost effortlessly. Without ambivalence, all push-pull ended, we spent time simply delighting in and loving each other.

As for her death, it could not have been more quiet, peaceful, and un-melodramatic. It was an ordinary morning in her 98th year, her beloved caregiver Hawa was in the other room, and Charlotte gently left life, alone and private. Exhaled; did not inhale again.

“Slipped away,” as the phrase has it.

And so, now, three years after her death, I can hear her advice, which I hope to follow.

Listen deeply.

And, again from the book’s text: ” ‘You have to listen inside yourself,’ her mother said. ”

May I do so, as I move through my own late middle age and into old age.

May I listen so deeply I also discover how to let go as easily as Charlotte herself did, finally, like that foxglove flower.

if you listen inscribed

Related Posts

  • THE DILL-SEEKERS: AN HERB, A MOTHER, MEMORYTHE DILL-SEEKERS: AN HERB, A MOTHER, MEMORY (12)
  • WHICH MEMOIR DO I WRITE?  WIND ROSE, REBIRTH & RECALL’S CANYONWHICH MEMOIR DO I WRITE? WIND ROSE, REBIRTH & RECALL’S CANYON (8)
  • uncovering: a yak, a six-year-old, and some witches walk into a post…uncovering: a yak, a six-year-old, and some witches walk into a post… (2)
  • a sound of wings unseen, inadvertent wisdom: a fathering day posta sound of wings unseen, inadvertent wisdom: a fathering day post (7)
  • the deer’s ears: Mose, me, misery & momentsthe deer’s ears: Mose, me, misery & moments (2)
Links may contain affiliate ads which pay the Dragon a small percentage for products ordered, all opinions are her own.
«
»

Filed Under: Nothing Is Wasted on the Writer, Uncategorized Tagged With: aging parents, Charlotte Zolotow, children's book writing, Crescent dragonwagon, flower falling, If You Listen, mothers and daughters

Comments

  1. Dida Gazoli says

    June 29, 2016 at 3:59 pm

    Such a delicate, beautiful piece and book. I will never look at a fallen petal or leaf again and not imagine its gentle call to attention. I will also listen ~ deeply. xxxOx ~ d

    • Crescent Dragonwagon says

      June 29, 2016 at 6:53 pm

      Thank you, Dida… xxxoooxxx — one of the keepers of Charlotte’s legacy.

  2. Tandy says

    June 29, 2016 at 10:25 pm

    I love how the sound of the flower falling caught (and HELD) your attention that way. All day long, it nudged you, and you followed its prompting. You are “listening inside yourself.” Wouldn’t your mom have loved this?

    • Crescent Dragonwagon says

      June 30, 2016 at 10:53 am

      Yes, dear Tandy, she would have!

      I must admit, her younger self would have probably had an uncomforatble amount of, “See? I told you so! I was telling you so all along, for years, but you wouldn’t listen…”

      But her older self would have said, “Ahhhhhhh,” and smiled in pleasure, and squeezed my hand. And, together and separately, we would have both beeen listening inside ourselves. xxxooo

Read Aloud with Crescent and Mark

NOT A LITTLE MONKEY, by Charlotte Zolotow, illustrted by Michelle Chessaree

"So, the little girl climbed into the big waste-basket and waited." ' Oh no,' said her mother, ' we don't want to throw you away.'"There are many ways to express love and the need for attention. Here, a busy mother and her just-a-bit naughty little girl tease each other affectionately — the little girl making her point without even uttering a word.That's today's story time — read aloud by the author's daughter at Crescent Dragonwagon's Writing, Cooking, & Workshops, with Mark Graff's "text support" and discussion."Just right for two-to-fours, the humor of this true-to-life story of a mischievous little girl who blocks her mother's attempts to clean house will elicit giggles from the lollipop set." Kirkus Reviews

Posted by Crescent Dragonwagon's Writing, Cooking, & Workshops on Thursday, June 4, 2020

Read Aloud with Crescent

Read Aloud with Crescent

The Washington Post on Crescent’s Lentil Soup Recipe

The Washington Post on Crescent’s Lentil Soup Recipe

Greek Lentil Soup with Spinach and Lemon, photograph by Tom McCorkle, Washington Post

Bean By Bean Cookbooks

#DeepFeast Recipes

More Posts from this Category

Dinner with Dragonwagon

More Posts from this Category

 for children:

A NAPPA Gold Winner
NAPPA


"... like a warm luminescent blanket at bedtime... softly lulling." -- New York Times


"(With) weary animals, Dragonwagon offers an “alphabet of ways to sleep,” smoothly working in some alliteration..."
- Publishers Weekly (starred review)


Available at:

Crescent Dragonwagon page style=

read aloud with Crescent Dragonwagon

Until Just Moistened

Until Just Moistened

Available for Purchase

Copyright © 2023 · Darling theme by Restored 316